describing action

Action Scenes: Adding Uniqueness

One of my pet peeves with action scenes, whether in film or book form, is repetitive action. I can only watch the same chase so many times or read endless thrusts and parries for so many pages. Keep action scenes interesting by making them unique.

Adding Unique Elements

Every fight, explosion, or gunshot needs to have at least some level of uniqueness to it in order to keep the various scenes from all blending together. If a reader comes to an action scene that sounds too similar to the last one, the likelihood that they will start skimming is high. Skimming a scene can lead to putting down the book all too quickly.

The Princess Bride is a great example of making every action scene unique. Granted, the writer takes that to a level of silliness that may not be appropriate for all stories, but dissecting how the scenes differ can still serve as a great lesson in how to add unique elements.

Every action scene in The Princess Bride has a unique element, whether it be odd weaponry like Count Rugen’s torture device which is not-so-uniquely (but humorously) name The Machine, unusual locations like the Fire Swamp or the eel-infested waters near Florin, interesting people who unexpectedly get involved the action like the disillusioned Miracle Max, or a surprising goal for the action such as Count Rugen not actually wanting to kill Wesley after his capture, at least not right away.

Accomplishing this level of uniqueness, in level of variety if not level of absurdity, consider all the aspects of the scene.

Setting

Use different settings for fight scenes within the book, or at least within close proximity to each other in the story. Repeating a fight scene location may be integral to the story, but other elements can be changed to make it a unique scene overall.

When considering locations for an action scene to take place, consider how different settings can create interesting challenges for the characters. For example, going into a gunfight from a stairwell presents different challenges than bursting through a window. Line of sight will be frequently obscured, it will be more difficult to catch up to the other person, and the person being chased has multiple opportunities to exit the stairwell and escape.

It may also be possible to pair the setting with specific characteristics of the participants for an added layer of uniqueness. If a character has a physical limitation, choose a setting that will play to that weakness when appropriate. The same may work for particular fears, aversions to locations, etc.

Participants

Vary the number of people involved in each action scene when possible. The main character may need to be in every scene, particularly if the story is told from that character’s point of view, but the other participants can be changed up.

This not only changes the actual faces involved in the scene, it changes what skills and abilities are brought to the action. Consider the goals of the scene to determine which sets of skills or persons will best serve that intended goal or outcome. Reading about the same skills or techniques being performed can get boring, so try to highlight different abilities in each action scene.

The number of participants also changes the flow and composition of action. A one-on-one fight will play out much differently that two groups battling, as will an unbalanced number of participants.

The type of participants involved can also make a scene more unique. Consider both physical types and skill types, whether realistic skills or fantastical skills. Size differences can have a major impact on the outcome, or the level of believeability of the outcome. David and Goliath-style action is a common trope, but it still needs to remain within the reader’s capability to suspend disbelief.

Tempo

Change the tempo of scenes that happen consecutively. The nearer they are to each other in the story, the more need there is for them to have differing tempos.

A chase scene has different pacing than a single explosion. A chase is long-lasting and the focus of the action, while an explosion is short-lived and the focus will be largely on the aftermath of the action.

Tempo can also refer to whether the main tension is an undercurrent, such as emotional tension building between two people through small actions, or direct action such as a screaming match that erupts during a meeting.

Tempo is an important consideration when building to a main action scene. Layer different tempos with a trend toward escalation when building to a large event.

Weaponry

Utilizing different weapons in action scenes helps avoid repetition of moves or actions. A spontaneous fight will use items lying around the setting, providing a very different feel than fighters trained to use particular weapons.

Even in action scenes that require specific weaponry, such as military stories using professional-level firearms, a situation may arise where the character is unable to use her normal weapon, must engage in physical combat, or is forced to improvise mid-scene.

Learning a new weapon or set of weaponry also provides opportunities for uniqueness. The same is true for fighting styles.

Goals

Create different goals for each action scene, or for scenes close together in the story timeline. A change in goals will often necessitate slight changes in the other elements of the scene. Rescuing someone requires different types of action than wantonly killing everyone in the room.

When planning scenes, aim for a variety of goals that will create a need for more unique scenes within the story. Always trying to accomplish the same goal can easily become routine and uninteresting to the reader.

As we wrap up this series on action scenes, remember that every action scene should have a purpose and move the story forward. Creating unique action scenes that reveal important information will keep a story moving and entertain readers.

Action Scenes: Storytelling

Action scenes may seem like islands within the bigger storyline at times, but it is important to match the action to the overall story and to write it in a way that shows the reader what’s happening rather than telling them it happened.

Matching Action and Story

An action scene needs to fit the story’s overall tone and pacing. It will seem out of place if the majority of the story’s style is light and silly and the action scenes are dark and gritty. If the story is written in a direct and confrontational tone, it will likely work well in action scenes and may not need many adjustments. A conversational tone may require more adjustments, but action can still be described in a semi-causal style that will work well with the overall style.

Action is naturally faster paced than exposition, but should still be similar to how the rest of the scenes are written so the style of writing doesn’t feel completely new. Pacing can be adjusted by using different lengths of sentences and words that convey intensity while still maintaining the overall style.

Stick with vocabulary and syntax that is similar to the rest of the story in action scenes. It may be necessary to include terms specific to the fight scene, but don’t overload the reader with jargon. Keep your reader in mind when determining how much to change the vocabulary in a fight scene. Use terms you have already explained when possible to avoid inundating the reader with new information.

If the majority of the prose is simple sentences, don’t suddenly switch to mostly complex, multi-clause sentences, or vice versa. Again, consider that your reader has gotten used to a certain style while reading and does not want to be asked to get used to a new style for a short scene.

Character tone should stay consistent as well. A generally arrogant character may go through a fight scene with confidence and calm while a more flighty character may dart around frantically. Consider each character’s traits and what he or she would be most likely to do or think in a stressful or frightening situation. It’s also important to consider how you normally write a character’s movements, actions, or thoughts in a non-action scene and only make those changes that are necessary to make it clear to the reader that the situation has changed.

Keep the general writing style consistent as well by avoiding major changes in the balance between exposition, description, and internal dialogue. Adjust each element to fit the pacing and situation only as much as is required by the action taking place.

Show vs. Tell

Don’t talk to the reader about a fight or chase scene, show it to the reader as it is happening. Showing instead of telling allows the reader to better experience the fight rather than just being told about it.

Focus on what the character is experiencing more than each individual punch or crash. Use all five senses to describe the action when possible. Not every scene requires all five sense, but use as many as possible to set the scene well enough that the reader can picture the scene and what is happening.

Describing sensory experiences helps the character connect with and react to the devastation going on around him or her. If the character connects with the scenes, the reader is more likely to connect with it as well.

Have the character interact with the scene (using available resources, feeling textures, struggling to move around because of a lack of light, etc.). The fight or other action is not happening in a vacuum. Even if the main action is a heated argument, there are still sensory elements that can be noticed or interacted with, such as scents (smell of burnt dinner or roses brought by an unwanted suitor), textures (rough fabrics on a chair the character is unable to get up from), etc.

In expansive action scenes, use different perspectives to show what is happening in all areas. Each character involved will see, feel, and hear the scene differently. If you are working with an omniscient POV or multiple POVs, make use of that to more fully build the scene in the reader’s mind.

Avoid tell-y words like “felt” and show how it feels instead. For example, “He felt pain course through his arm” is less engaging than “Pain raced through his arm, stealing his breath.” Evaluate each sentence in an action scene for its effectiveness at communicating with the reader. If it is simply telling the reader that something happened, rework it to help the reader experience what the character did in that moment.

The same idea applies to character thoughts. Use internal dialogue for introspection or description of emotion instead of telling the reader how a character feels or thinks about what is happening. For example, “She was confused by his yelling,” simply tells the reader how she reacted while “His arguments bombarded her, loud and sharp, too many at once to make any sense to her” gives the impression of confusion and being overwhelmed more fully.

Taking the time to assess every sentence for its suitability in the overall story and its effectiveness at conveying important information to the reader will take a scene from basic to immersive.

Action Scenes: Describing and Pacing Action

Writing effective and interesting action scenes requires appropriate description and careful pacing.

Use simple language when describing action. Technical terms or jargon will get lost and can easily confuse readers in a fast-paced scene. If certain terms are important to the story or scene, be sure they are explained in an earlier scene so readers are familiar with them and don’t have to stop to look up or wonder at their meaning. This slows the pace and breaks the reader’s focus.

Action scenes aren’t the place for similes and metaphors, either. Large-scale metaphors may be communicated by the overall scene, but avoid using metaphors and similes in fights scene because they slow the pace and can be distracting.

Use shorter sentences that match the pace of the action taking place. Long-drawn out sentences slow the reading speed and ask the reader to more carefully consider the meaning of the sentence. Shorter sentences keep the pace moving in time with whatever action or movement is taking place.

Be specific when describing what is happening in the scene. Vague descriptions slow the pace and can confuse the reader unnecessarily. Clarity is crucial during action scenes or readers will miss important information. Be clear about who is involved, where it happens, weapons or powers used, risks involved, and consequences of the action or overall scene.

Avoid the passive voice. Action should always be described using an active voice. This makes the action feel more immediate and draws the reader into what is happening rather than making them feel like they are being told about what happened after the fact. For example, “Mark slapped Adam” is more active and compelling than “Adam was slapped by Mark.” Draw the reader in with active description. Remember, the characters are involved in the fight scenes, it’s not happening to them as passive bystanders.

Pacing and Action Scene

Appropriate pacing keeps an action scene from dragging on and boring readers. It also helps to keep the scene from seeming too short and inconsequential. Pacing of the scene should match the action taking place in it as well as the overall importance of the scene.

In order to appropriately pace a scene, vary sentence length to match what is happening in that moment. When you need a break in the action, use longer or more complex sentences. This gives the action a break as well as gives the reader a moment to take in everything that has happened.

Mix dialogue with action to give the reader a mental break to process the action and learn something important about what is happening in the scene. Limit internal thoughts and dialogue to avoid slowing the pace too much. Use these when a pause is intentionally written into the scene.

Don’t drag the scene out unnecessarily. An important part of pacing an action scene is determining how long it reasonably needs to be in order to communicate what is happening and why. Fight scenes and chase scenes, especially, only need to be long enough to accomplish their purpose. These types of scenes can quickly get boring for readers when they are not concise.

Keep action scenes focused and clear in order to effectively communicate what is intended to the reader in an engaging and exciting manner.

Writing balanced action scenes

Writing action scenes can be extremely challenging due to their chaotic nature, the pacing, and the possible lack of firsthand knowledge. It’s also very easy for action to overtake a scene to the exclusion of the characters and story. Below are some tips to writing strong and balanced action scenes.

Man with Sword

Do NOT write an entire action scene as blow-by-blow description

This becomes tedious and confusing for the reader and slows the pace. Action must be balanced with description, exposition, internal dialogue, and emotional reflection.

Strive for clarity

If the reader can’t understand what’s going on because it’s too chaotic, they will likely miss the point of the scene. Use simple language and shorter sentences. Be clear about who is involved, where it happens, weapons/powers used, risks involved, and consequences.

Focus on the experience, not the individual action

Use all five senses to describe the action. Don’t rely solely on visual and physical elements. Tastes, smells, and sounds are important factors in action scenes. Make the character connect with and react to the devastation going on.

Know the purpose of the scene and write in a way that fulfills the purpose

Why something is happening is just as important, or more important than, what is happening. Makes sure the WHY is clear during an action scene so the reader knows what to pay attention to and absorbs information relevant to the purpose.

Pointing a gun at someone

Avoid the passive voice

The characters are involved in the fight scenes, it’s not happening to them as passive bystanders. The scene should be told through the character’s experience. For example, “Alan was punched by Greg” is a passive description while “Greg punched Alan” is an active description. In the first example, something HAPPENS TO Alan while in the second description Greg actively TAKES action.

Use action scenes as opportunities to explore a character’s motivations and goals

Why do they fight or make the choices they do in the scene and what is the source of that action or decision? Guns are pulled at pointed at people for no reason. It may be a panicked reaction in the moment, or a lifestyle that breeds that type of reaction as instinctual. There are also consequences to taking action. Does the character consider the consequences first, or are they too in the moment to think beyond it?

Make action unique

Use different settings (going into a gunfight from a stairwell presents different challenges than bursting through a window). Vary the number of people involved (a one-on-one fight will play out much differently that two groups battling). Change the tempo (a chase scene has different pacing than a single explosion). Give them different weapons (a spontaneous fight using items lying around has a very different feel than fighters trained to use particular weapons). Create different goals for each scene (rescuing someone requires different types of action than wantonly killing everyone in the room).

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